on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
