youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
