How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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