Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
