Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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