The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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