Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, beer. Big fan.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
