I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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