oh god the rape fog is back!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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