He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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