her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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