I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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