I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
