just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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