Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize