He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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