yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
