A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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