Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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