I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
