hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
