Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
