Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
