Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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