it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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