Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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