So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize