I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
