i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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