and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
