he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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