She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
