Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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