and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
