My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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