I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
