well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
