Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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