Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
