week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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