I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
