Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
