i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
