I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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