So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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