I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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