Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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