He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish you could order shots online.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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