Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
