Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
