I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox