Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

got weed?

(425): View more from Washington

I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

(206): View more from Washington

sorry mom...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Capitaan dildo arrescate!

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(908): View more from New Jersey

how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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(919): View more from North Carolina

They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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(806): View more from Texas

I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...

(931): View more from Tennessee

And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?

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(616): View more from Michigan

At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.

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