you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
