She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
