there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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