you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
there is glitter all over my balls
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