yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize